Not in his goals, but in his transitions is man great.
I first heard this quote when going through rough patch in my life when I was 24 and it really changed everything for me.
Growing up, being a super sensitive (perhaps you’d even call me now, an “empath”) who was also an overachieving, perfectionist, honors student, I was a rather tumultuous blend of lots of fiery energy and rushing emotional waters, that created many a perfect storm within my physical system and most definitely, all around me.
When my goals were met and I found successes, there was great victory and celebration, but more often than not, I disappointed myself and those expecting of me, and I suffered serious anxiety and depression from age 12 to 25.
I always felt like I had such great potential, but would never reach it.
I always felt like people loved and believed in me more than I did myself.
Time after time, I shifted from one goal to another hoping that the success would come eventually, or that when it did, THEN I would be happy. That ego driven journey taught me a lot… especially what to make of my failures, how to thrive in transition, and what success actually means, contrary to popular Western thought.
What I have finally realized is that the real strength, stamina, and joy for life comes from exploration and healing of those darkest places and the rising from them. That is what I know now as “success”.
I began to recognize that my life was not a series of mistakes, failures, and “almosts- shoulda- coulda- wouldas” that would hold me down forever, but a perfect breeding ground for continual introspection, lesson learning, and growth. I believe these are the things that make me able to see the greatest potential in everyone… this is what allows me to be a good teacher and coach.
Had I not had so many periods of intense suffering at such a young age, would I be able to hold the space for others who have experienced the same or worse today in my work? I don’t believe so.
And so it makes perfect sense that the little voice inside me asking me to “heal the world through their awareness of their bodies and movement” my entire life, needed me to do the same for me first (read previous post re: surviving burnout).
From the muddy waters rises the lotus flower.
From the ashes rises the fenix.
From the darkness we see the candle flame most illumined…
We know this, yet we wiggle and squirm, we fight discomfort and change and growth SO much. We try to skip from black to white without sensing all shades of grey between.
Transitions probably almost always hurt, at least a little. This isn’t an exaggeration. It’s a literal shedding of everything you no longer need in this stage of your development.
For me, the shedding has been continuous I think ever since I sat in my grandmother’s car in 1998 and wept, begging her not to make me go into NYC for my preprofessional dance classes at the Joffrey Ballet School anymore, and most recently my medical withdrawal from the esteemed NYU MFA Dance program due to my chronic back injury coming to a head.
But more so than that, these periods revolved around my ego’s release on what others thought of me . Sometimes we need things to fall apart so that we LISTEN more deeply to where it is our soul is seeking light.
We need to listen INSIDE, and don’t need VALIDATION from the outside. That’s the ego’s game.
Every transition I’ve ever made, whether small or large, was instigated by the need for growth and evolution of my spirit.
The wound is the place where the light enters.
So obviously, I’m not alone here. All the great philosophers and poets found this themselves. And I am finally at the place in my life where I embrace all that has gotten me to where I am today— the good, the bad, and the… less than perfect. 🙂 And I want to continue helping others to do the same.
Celebrate your growth, all of it! Stop focusing on what’s wrong, because it’ll just bring in more wrong.
Celebrate the good. Celebrate the gift of your life!
If this rang true to you, PLEASE come on my FREE TELECLASS on the subject, April 6th 8:00- 9:30pm, where you’ll learn:
The proven strategies for trusting change and the great things that are sure to follow. I’ll introduce you to the idea of writing a brand new chapter in your life that is in line with your heart’s desires and lead by self-love, and confidence.
- Simple thinking-strategies that will guard you from fear, doubt and worry (and 3 types of thinking that can stop your dream in its tracks).
- The BIG step most people miss when building a dream.
- The Number One factor that causes people to lose steam when going after a dream, and how to stay motivated and override it.
- The 1 critical thing you must give up in order to reach your dream.
- And much more.