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What I believe about codependent and toxic relationships

Over time I found relationships weren’t as effortful, and therefore I also didn’t have the need to “vent” or talk endlessly about the details of the toxic goings-on in love and career… suddenly, they all just started to shift for the better. Only when I took control of my own energy and started a daily yoga and meditation practice.

Why? Well because I was part of the cycles of toxicity. If I didn’t take responsibility for my own energy in these relationship dynamics, nothing would change.

When my boyfriend finally said, “We can’t keep doing this,” ending a several year cycle of codependency and “on again and off again”… for once, it actually felt right. The dance of push and pull, hide and go seek was over — I left the dance floor. That was the problem in the past, even when it was “off” or “over” a big part of my energy was still swooping around looking for validation, hoping and waiting for things to “get better” and “work out.” Cutting the cord on that dynamic freed up my heart to love myself, maybe for the first time ever, and eventually attracted an equal love partner in that.

The codependent and toxic dynamics were not so different with work either! But enter this shift in energy. Work partnerships that had felt as if they were taking advantage of my efforts suddenly shifted so that I was being recognized for my individuality instead of scorned for it, AND being paid well for my time! Wow — was it a miracle? Or had something significantly shifted in my energetic makeup so I was no longer attracting employment situations where I was being mistreated and/or undervalued. I started to know my worth through every cell of my body.

Of course I figured at first, “this morning practice thing is just a fad,” even if I can see that these changes are coming from my meditation and breath practices, I can never stick to this commitment and I’m sure I’ll mess it all up again… I won’t be able to keep up with this daily… I always quit right when I’m about to have a breakthrough, etc. etc. Have you ever had the same thoughts about yourself?

But when I allowed myself to soak in the results and feel how different my life had become, I couldn’t stop. How could I when multiple relationships were shifting for the better with a simple commitment to practicing 30 minutes of meditations and breathwork? I continued to practice every single morning on the floor next to my bed, as soon as I woke up, and the good just kept coming. I’ve been practicing for over 10 years now.

What about you? Have you ever felt like you looping around in the same ish over and over — and you’re starting to awaken to the issues, and know you’re so close to breaking free from it? Please reach out — I’d love to talk about what that was like for you in the past, or perhaps what that feels like for you right now.

I found I just needed a little help to manage my energy to get through it. I had reassuring voices who had improved their lives through daily meditation and breathwork practices that kept me on track. We all need a helping hand.

I’d love to get at the bottom of what’s going on for you, treat the energetic roots, and set up a short morning practice that will change your relationships for the better. This year can be a different year for you! If this resonated, I would love to connect — send me an email!

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